Marriage Milestone…. Yes I Married Young #MillennialMarriage
So we made it past the 5 year mark!!!
Less than a week until our six-year anniversary and I wanted to share my thoughts on getting married young and some advice to having a long lasting happy relationship.
Recently I was having a conversation with an older woman and I just so happened to mention my husband (as I frequently do because everything reminds me of him) and she looked at me, tilted her head and asked a question that me and my husband receive a lot especially from older people…”How old are you? You look too young to be married” then the next inevitable question “How long have you been married?” next comment is “Wow! You got married young! Usually young couples don’t make it past five years.”
Yes we got married young. It was less than a month until my 23rd birthday and my husband was 24yrs; He just got back from boot camp after enlisting into the Navy and I was in my last year of college. We talked about getting married before he left, well that’s putting it lightly. After dating for 3 years then getting our first place together, he did the appropriate/ cliché thing and asked my father for my hand in marriage. Of course my dad said yes along with rambling about financial burdens that come with marriage, etc. And once the recruiter gave him (my then boyfriend, now husband) his leave date to head off to boot camp we discussed getting married before he left but I insisted I wanted to wait until I graduated. During his time away in boot camp and after flying out to attend his graduation we realized we couldn’t be away from each other any longer and decided to get married as soon as he got out of boot camp. Of course this left no time to plan a wedding ceremony which I was okay with because similar to other great women (Oprah, Wendy Williams, Goldie Hawn and so many more) I never pictured a dream wedding. Some little girls dream of a big princess wedding ceremony, me I never pictured a wedding. To be honest as a child I never thought I would get married. I dreamed of being a gypsy/ award-winning actress and traveling the world and having a great love affair, then writing about my adventures and eventually having kids with an extremely sexy, powerful business man. But I digress…
Long story short, I am one of the lucky ones; I was blessed to find literally the love of my life/soul mate or whatever you want to call it at a young age. We’ve had so many adventures together, we have the same spiritual outlook on life, have similar interest and our own goals which means we never get bored with each other. There is literally never a dull moment, which can sometimes be exhausting; but adventure and excitement was the main thing that I hoped for in my adult life as a child. Now that I am in my late twenties and it is now on trend in my age group to get married, have kids and basically settle into a consistent domestic lifestyle; It is interesting watching via social media the beginning ups and downs of friends and classmates relationships and it reminds me of our past experiences. I’m so thankful we have made it through our ups and downs and past the five-year marriage hump. We have seen and known a lot of our former friends and school mates that weren’t able to have a long lasting relationship/marriage (sadly). Long-term relationships and marriage aren’t easy and I wanted to take a moment to speak on some ways we got through the inevitable ups and downs that comes with relationships and marriage, especially when you’re younger and still figuring out your own personal emotions and growth.
Be open and honest
Know what YOU want, not what you think will look like a good couple on social media or what your significant other wants but what you want. For example if you like to travel or work out regularly, then be honest with your self and your partner and let them know this is something I like to do and let your partner decide if they would like to be apart of that part of your life. Sometimes your partner will want to join you in some of your hobbies and sometimes they won’t. If they choose not to then you can use it as your “me” time so you don’t lose yourself in the relationship, you always have an activity or hobby that is your truest you.
Take Interest In Your Partners Hobbies
It is good to be open to new things that take you out of your comfort zone, that includes hobbies, foods, movies, etc. Trying something new with your partner will show that you care about them enough to try something that either you don’t like or you would not have been open to try before. Also it kind of massages your partners ego, letting them lead you in a new adventure.
Keep Things Fresh, Try New Things Together
When you have been together for a while sometimes you get bored. Instead of feeling like you need to start making memories with someone new, make new memories with your same partner. For example take a trip to a new place, try new activities together, cook new meals together, basically just think of something that neither you or your partner have done before and go for it! Usually trying something new will bring you closer together because you are forced to work together to figure out a new obstacle or adventure.
Keep Things Flirty
Think back to when you first started dating and remember the days of flirting, doing subtle things to intrigue your partner. Continue to flirt and be sexual at random moments during the day. Send a flirty text every so often, surprise your partner with something new(sexy outfit for the home of course, etc.).
Show Your Appreciation With Words And Actions
Let your partner know that you appreciate them even if it’s just saying thank you after they take out the trash or for taking care of you when you are sick. This means a lot because your partner knows that you genuinely love and appreciate their efforts in the relationship no matter how big or small. Make sure to do things your partner would appreciate, for example making a nice meal after they’ve had a long day, show affection with kisses, hugs and etc. These small actions and words come in handy during the tough times when you may want to get angry over something small you can quickly recall a recent memory of a sweet gesture your partner did or when your partner recently voiced how much they appreciate and love you, that helps to calm your response. It is okay to still voice whatever you may be upset about but just recalling a positive moment helps you express yourself through love not anger or hurt.
I hope these tips are useful with helping you deal with ups and downs in your relationship. Remember don’t compare your relationship to others because no person or relationship is perfect so don’t be so hard on yourself, we are all works in progress. Live, Love, Laugh